As most people know I had my boys when I was young.
I attributed a lot of the way that I parented my boys to the fact that I was young and didn’t really know better.
However I was also heavily into listening and learning from Wayne Dyer.
Who spoke about the fact that your children come through you but not for you. They don’t belong to you.
I was never a helicopter parent.
I let them eat dirt.
Touch and lick everything.
Explore their surroundings especially outside.
As they got older they played tackle football for a couple of years and then started dirt bike racing.
My boys were always exploring the most dangerous things that made my heart constantly feel like it was going to come out of my chest.
They built huge bicycle jumps on the side of my house.
They flew over huge step ups on their dirt bikes.
They made trampoline bikes and figured out how to do the craziest tricks.
They jumped off of my roof into the swimming pool.
Any way that they could take risks they did.
I know for a lot of parents this makes your skin crawl.
And believe me it made mine crawl too.
And even though it made my skin crawl I never wanted to give my sons my fears.
I wanted their journey to be their own.
I wanted them to know that risks (calculated) were ok to make.
I didn’t want them to be inside playing video games.
I wanted them outside exploring their environment.
I wanted them to play and be social.
I wanted them to be independent.
I wanted them to learn to make their own choices.
And realize that with some choices there would be consequences.
That some risks weren’t worth taking.
Some jumps weren’t worth the risk of injury.
I wanted them to learn not to make potentially life altering choices.
Because I allowed them to take those risks and make those choices for themselves they have learned the value of thinking things through before deciding.
They have learned to be independent
They have learned that it’s ok to take some risks in life.
They have learned some risks aren’t worth taking.
These boys now do one of the most dangerous jobs in the world. (Go figure)
And the thing they talk to me most about is safety.
In making sure they are thinking ahead and looking at all possible outcomes.
I know that others have looked at me like I’m crazy for allowing my kids to do the things they have always done.
However now that they are adults I see the value in the way I did things with them.
My crazy boys are still crazy. But now they know if they do something dumb and break a bone they can’t go to work 😂
Parents it’s ok to let go of the leash a little.
Trust your kids
Allow them to make mistakes
Allow them to make choices and deal with the consequences of those choices.
Your hovering is out of love Ofcourse.
However with hovering your teaching your kids that you don’t trust them and therefore they can’t trust themselves either.